The Wild Part 2: God Provides

Photo credit: Stephanie, the coolest adventurer and best blister-repairer ever.

There isn’t much in the wild.

Correction: there isn’t much in the wild that you normally find in big cities, average suburbs, or quiet rural areas.

There are not toilets or TV’s. There are not refrigerators or microwaves. There are not outlets or automobiles.

But there is God, who provides what we need.

I wanted a porcelain throne at our campsite. Instead, I found secluded trees with thick leaves.

I pined for Chick-Fil-A. Instead, I heated ramen noodles swimming in river water over a portable stove.

I longed to check Facebook and Instagram. Instead, I connected with new friends on the trip via face-to-face interaction, The Lord through admiration, and myself in silence.

When we seek more, we burden ourselves.

One day, we found an isolated, one-room cabin complete with an iron bed, coffee can, and mason jars.

I almost stole a mason jar.

But before questioning the potential germs in the cabin–ew–and snatching the jar, I considered its weight. The jar was roughly half a pound.

I was already carrying 30+ pounds on my hips and back. The jar wasn’t worth it. I walked away empty-handed.

Empty hands are asking to be filled.

They cup fresh water to wash off dirt. They grab Clif bars to devour. They grasp other empty hands to encourage and lift up.

Empty hands spread wide and high to show surrender, praise and thankfulness.

Empty hands lack more for the possibility of gaining everything.

Empty hands fully trust in a Giver that promises to provide.

What if we empty our hands?

An empty calendar can lead to a world of opportunities and adventures.

An empty wallet can lead to just enough to pay for one’s daily bread.

What if instead of grabbing more, we take the bare minimum that God provided?

We move when the sun is up. We sleep when the stars come out. We drink when our cup is full. We eat when bread is on the table.

We don’t look for more, but say, “Thank you, Jesus” no matter what our plates look like.

What if we stopped proclaiming our trust with the words pouring out of our mouths?

What if we showed our faith with nothing in our hands?

Stop & Stare: On Stilling Myself in God’s Presence

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 7 a.m. this morning:

It was nippy. The wind whipped my hair. Shivers ran up and down my spine. Man, I wish I brought more blankets. But the sun trickled slowly in, lightly kissing my skin.

With french vanilla coffee in one hand, and my Bible in the other, the chills ceased. The winds kept biting. But being still in the presence of the Lord warmed my body from the inside out.

It had been so long, I forgot how good that felt.

*****

A couple of weeks ago, I said, “I’m learning how to still my mind, heart and body before God. It has been one of the biggest struggles. I want to go, go, go.”

Confession: I haven’t stopped much since then. My body is at odds with my spirit. I want to complete the tasks before me, I want to take on more challenges, I want to do it all.

But my spirit longs time with The Lord. My spirit desires peace in His presence, for me to ditch the agenda and to-do list, for me to stop and stare at His word.

Unfortunately, my flesh wins most of the time. I settle for 10-minute, mind-wandering quiet times as I rush out the door to make it to class on time. Or I convince myself yawn-filled, incoherent prayers while falling asleep will suffice.

They aren’t enough. But I do them anyway.

I’m a hypocrite.

You see, quality time is my love language. I firmly believe we make time for the activities, people, and obligations we most value.

Often times I am hurt when people don’t make time for me. Many of my friendships fall apart not because of fights, but because of conflicting schedules and lack of putting forth effort to spend time together.

And while I sulk and pout because of my dwindling friendships, I am doing the same wrong to God.

I settle for the occasional, surface level, hi-and-bye bump-ins with The Lord. I talk, but I don’t listen. I touch base, but I don’t land.

This morning I was reminded of how quality time with The Lord is absolutely vital.

As the sun peeked up over Lake Waco, it felt like God was saying, “Hello, I’ve missed you.” I missed Him too.

And I will keep on missing The Lord if I allow myself to, if I continue to settle. When my quiet times are shallow, I become shallow. I judge more. I love less. I complain and grumble and lose perspective.

But when my quiet times are deep and long and focused and pure, I become passionate and loving and joyful and righteous. I am more aware of His presence. I have keen eyes to His hand in my everyday life. I judge less. I love more. I encourage and praise and gain new understanding.

I don’t know why I settle for a lukewarm faith, for watered-down quiet times with wandering thoughts.

I hope today sticks with me. I hope I keep learning how to still my heart, mind and body before God. I hope even more I will experience this meditation firsthand.

Because God’s love language is quality time, too. And I need to stop and stare at His word, shut off the world and soak in His presence to feed my love for Him.

Pay attention to this, Job. Stop and consider the wonderful miracles of God! Job 37:14

#Blessed

My friends & I made it home from Chilis #goodmeal #goodfriends #goodlife #blessed

**In case you didn’t know {Mom}, a hashtag is a category/topic/phrase used to define/describe/go along with whatever you post, see visual aid above.**

I am an avid social media user. I am particularly passionate about Instagram.

Instagram is cool because it makes me feel cool {yes. I did just say that}. It takes simple meals I’ve microwaved, the sunrise seen from my window, the cup{s} of I coffee consume, and makes them look 74829374239x cooler than before. Basically, it takes normal, little things, and makes them a bigger deal.

Lately, I’ve noticed how #blessed has been popping up all over my news feeds.

Some people think it’s a problem. Or just think it’s overused. I myself contribute to this excessive #blessed-ing.

“Ran into this beauty at the library, haven’t seen her in ages! #blessed”

“Worshipping under the stars with fellow Baylor students #blessed”

“Got to sleep in 15 extra minutes this morning #blessed”

I think maybe the reason social media users are weary of #blessed is because they don’t think pictures or statuses posted include authentic blessings. At least, that is sometimes how I feel.

But today, as I was walking to class in the rain with my Rangers ball cap on, inadvertently smiling to myself because 1) I love hats 2)  I love rain 3) it was a beautiful combination of the two, I had an epiphany.

Who  am I to judge how someone feels blessed? No, Instagrammer, you can’t feel blessed during an 8 mile run. You can only feel blessed by {insert medium here: the sunrise, baking warm cookies, cheering your team on, etc.}

Now doesn’t that just sound silly?

God made us differently. We love Him and feel His love in different ways. We hear His voice, are aware of His presence, and see His work in our lives in ways that are unique to us. It’s like God has a specific love language for each and every one of us.

I feel God’s love most when I am in nature. Sunsets, hikes, stars, lightning, oceans,  they all get me. But I also feel God’s love when something spontaneously makes my day: a class is cancelled, a friend brings me breakfast, I was able to squeeze in a power nap. I also feel God’s love through people: reuniting with a long lost friend, engaging in a Spirit-led conversation with my small group, etc.

All of these things make me feel #blessed. But you may not feel #blessed by nature, or by naps, or by talking. You may feel #blessed through serving others, or receiving gifts, or alone time.

God is a straight up genius. He wired us in distinct ways. He knows our wiring so well, He knows us so well. He knows how to speak to us, to love us, to inspire us, to still us, to grab our attention.

The God of the World knows me, He loves me, and He wants me to know I am loved. That makes me feel #blessed.

O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. Psalm 139:1

Phoneless & Helpless

Awkwardly waiting for Hunter. On the ground. Without my phone. Cool.

Once upon a time, I accidentally left my phone at my good friend Kaley’s house in the wee hours of the morning. I went home, woke up the next day, only to realize what I had done. Crap.

Kaley influences young minds all day {elementary ed major lyfe}, so she doesn’t get home until late afternoon. This left poor social media-addicted, avid texter, and pro-communicator me without means to do many of these things. And I was sad. And hopeless. And realized I was helplessly dependent on my phone. The end.

Epilogue {you know you wanted one}

This is how I feel without my phone:

• Naked — I keep patting my left backpack pocket to see if it’s there. Alas, it is not.
• Unpopular — not that I am bombarded with a thousand texts a day, but I certainly love looking at my missed messages after class…even if they’re just from my mom.
• Awkward — walking to class, I literally did not know what to do with my hands because  my phone usually rests happily in between them. I clapped and swayed my arms instead. Yeah. It was weird.
• Inconvenienced — I scheduled to have lunch with my soul sister Hunter, but I had to wait outside the dining hall until it opened. So I sat on the ground. Got weird looks. And just stared into the distance because I couldn’t even pretend I was texting.

Realizations:

• First world probs — seriously, this discomfort without my phone is such a petty issue. So, as usual, God speaks through the mundane and says, “Maelyn, you are being stupid. Phones are not that important. You still have a mouth and fingers. So yeah, you can communicate with anyone you want to.”
• Love language talk — my love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. These just go to show that I like old school bonding via talking, enjoying each other’s company, handwritten sentiments, etc. And while love languages are often overlooked or joked about, it really is important to understand how people feel most loved/how they show their love. That being said, I realize that maybe I should resort to old ways of pen and paper & more face to face conversation than through a tiny electronic screen.

In other news:

• The weather is beautiful, so beautiful Hunter & I had a picnic. We had stir-fry. I got chopsticks. I put them in my mouth like I was a walrus. Yes. We were in public. Yes. A boy saw me. Yes. He laughed. Yes. I was embarrassed. Yes. I am hopelessly awkward. Yes. I am still single. Yes. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Yes. It will still be great nonetheless.

Lastly:

• Thanks for reading my blog. Did y’all know I also write weekly posts for a publication called College Social? Check out my stuff! I love feedback. I love views. And I love you. Peace & blessings.