I turn 22 this week.
I don’t know how it happened, 22 years marked with laughs and sighs and cheers and tears and hopes and heartbreaks and dreams and devastations.
22 years of sculpting myself into who I am today: often breaking into pieces and remaking the mold to fit who I’m called to be.
I want to be older and wiser.
I’m not old and grey yet, but one day I dream to be. I’ll have all of these nuggets of wisdom, each adding onto the other, a list as long as my years.
But wisdom does not come from me, true wisdom comes from God.
James 3 says jealousy and selfish ambition do not produce wisdom.
So when I eye my friend Amanda, who thrives in New York, and I envy her life, I am not wise. And when I try to get my way over my little brother’s, I am not wise.
But actual, real, honest wisdom, is pure. James 3 says wisdom is,
“Peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It’s full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”
I want to be a peacemaker, one who plants seeds of peace and reaps a harvest of righteousness.
It’s not easy to be a peacemaker.
At times, I become impatient and rude and agitated and hard to love. I dish out snarky comments and break others down with hurtful words.
But that’s not who I am called to be.
I’m made to be peaceful. To create positive relationships built on trust and compassion, to impart my wisdom and understanding on those who need it, to always hope and steadfastly love.
My prayer for year 22 is this:
Dear Lord, give me Your wisdom. When I fail, give me grace. When I sink, give me hope. When I forget, give me mercy. When I dream, give me discernment. When I rise, give me perseverance.
Whether I suffer or succeed, whether I fall or fly, whether I mourn or laugh, fill me with Your Joy, and let Your Love overflow from my life.