Bearing my Cross · Body. · Life Written. · Mind. · spirit · Unashamed. · Uncategorized

Unashamed: Life from the Ashes


My disorder can’t stop, won’t stop me.

I have dreams. I’d like to pursue a career in law or counseling, and plan to return to school in Fall 2017.

I have friends. I’ve been blessed and humbled to be surrounded by the most wonderful, faithful companions. They’ve been encouragers and prayer warriors.

I have a life. I’m blogging from a Starbucks in Houston, because I attended an engagement party for two of my friends (Congrats again, Sarah & Wes!)

I’ve been broken, now it’s time to rejoice!

Psalm 51 walks through David’s complete repentance after sleeping with a married woman. He begs for mercy, admits his sin, and pleas for restoration.

Lately, David’s words have filled my heart and soul, they’ve written my prayers:

Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice.

-Psalm 51:8

After facing a manic episode and battling depression, I felt broken, like my brain couldn’t function. I was lost, lonely, and afraid I couldn’t live a normal life.

I didn’t feel joy, I didn’t feel whole. My heart felt shattered and scattered in a million directions. How would I put them back together?

But today, I feel hope. I am filled with true Joy that can only come from the Spirit. It’s wonderful to laugh and feel giddy again.

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God. Look with favor on Zion and help her; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

-Psalm 51:17-18

My world was crushed, and I lost sight of the vision I had for my life. But even in the valley, I was able to surrender my heart to the Lord.

I handed over the vision I once had, and I gave God the remains of my heart. I begged for Him to rebuild the walls of my heart.

Lately, I’ve been thankful.

I’m thankful for a family who loves and supports me, for friends who pray and encourage me. I’m thankful for a job, house, and car. I’m thankful my schedule allows room for growth.

I’m thankful for a God who will break me apart and piece me back together, who will swoop down in the valley to lead me to the mountain.

I’m thankful for a Kingdom Come that isn’t here yet, but sure feels close in certain moments.

It’s a great time to be alive. It’s a great time to find balance. It’s a great time to exude Joy.

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