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Hey Single Ladies: It’s OK to Love or Hate Your Status


Dear Single Ladies,

My name is Maelyn. I’m also a single lady.

I love my relationship status. The reasons I love singleness may be the very reasons you hate it.

Let me tell you why I love it:

Singleness allows selfishness.

The beauty of singleness is: you are uncommitted.

I’ve learned far more in 14 days of adulthood in Nashville than nearly four years of school in Waco.

You are single. It’s okay to travel the world, start a company, or get that tattoo.

Embrace an independence to make your own choices, but be careful to realize decisions you make now can affect your future.

Singleness allows selflessness.

The beauty of singleness is: you can commit to whoever and whatever you choose.

In college, I overcomitted. I plunged headfirst into church, academics, internships, organizations and friendships.

I chose friending guys over dating guys, because my schedule and mind did not make room for more.

These days, I choose to commit to an internship with Red Bus and growing roots in Nashville.

My internship is full-time and requires travel, so I don’t have room to date now either. I choose that in my mind and my heart also doesn’t feel it.

Singleness allows sculpting.

I love to travel because it tests your adaptive and strategic skills. Traveling with friends is fun, because the team effort creates lasting memories: good and bad.

If I am a party of one, I learn more as an individual. Traveling alone does not allow me to depend on others’ knowledge or cultural competency.

If you hate singleness, you hate it.

If you love it, you love it.

Other people won’t get it.

If you’re lonely, they assume you love it. If you’re strong, they assume you’re weak.

You have a right to feel lonely, but a relationship won’t fulfill an emotional feeling.

You have a right to feel strong, but a relationship will force you to admit weakness.

If you are single, own it while you can. Don’t find too much comfort in it, don’t place too much hope for a change of status.

At this moment in time, I have zero desire, capacity or option to marry by 25.

This time next year, one, two or all of those factors may change.

I’m learning to a) not push people away and b) give myself grace if I do.

These are tough lessons, I’ve hurt others and myself in the process. I acknowledge the circumstances and own my mistakes. Hey, at least I’m learning.

Right now, I enjoy a carefree, independent lifestyle.

In the future, should my status change, I will embrace a more careful, codependent love.

2 thoughts on “Hey Single Ladies: It’s OK to Love or Hate Your Status

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