College Life · For the Ladies · Life Written. · Love or Something Like It · Popular Posts.

I’ve never had a boyfriend.

People gawk when I throw that out there. I’m 20-years-old. And I have literally been single for life.

I always get the same reactions:

  • People affirm me, “You are sooooo pretty!”
  • People scorn males, “What?! But you’re a catch! Those guys are idiots!”
  • People pity me, “Honey…it will be okay. You’ll find the one someday.”

Yaddy yaddy yadda. Same old, same old.

The affirming is friendly. But it doesn’t make me feel better. As prideful as it sounds, I know I’m pretty. God made me.

The scorning is out of love. But putting people down doesn’t lift me up, or change my circumstance.

The pitying is from empathy. But why do people assume I am pitiful when I tell them this part of me? Since when did someone’s relationship status determine his or her happiness?

Granted, it used to upset me. I responded the same way, listing my great qualities like filling out an eHarmony account, condemning guys for not making the move because God knows I wasn’t the issue, wallowing in self pity because I would be forever alone.

Single ladies s'mores night! What more could a girl need?
Single ladies s’mores night! What more could a girl need?

In high school, my heart desired a relationship. It wanted a fun date on a Friday night, sweet handwritten notes and late night phone calls.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.”

Since coming to college, and with each passing year, I’ve grown exponentially in my walk with the Lord. I have truly known how to delight in Him and delight in His provision. I’ve experienced the beauty of exuding joy when He gives and when He takes away.

And since my love for God has been sculpted and refined, the desires of my heart have evolved, as well.

I’m not jealous when I see cute couples, or when I hear my two roommates Skyping their long-distance boyfriends. I’m genuinely happy they have someone to make them happy in such a unique, special way.

I’m not bitter when I have to scour to find dates to Tri Delt functions. I’m excited to see which new friend I can make in the process, or which old friend I can spend quality time with.

Honestly, sometimes it offends me when people assume I’m lonely and depressed, pining and whining.

Because it is the polar opposite.

I am free and independent. I am adventurous and active. I do what I want, when I want it, why I want it, how I want it. But the best of all is, I am doing life with the people I adore — male and female.

I am surrounded by people who inspire me, people who I want to become one day, people who challenge my faith and further my walk.

These people encourage my dream chasing, listen to my incessant ranting. They are compassion-filled grace-givers who make me better each and every moment I spend with them.

I am sure a significant other will be great to have by my side one day, according to God’s perfect timing. But today, I want to give all I have to the people I have right now, because they have given so much to me without even knowing it.

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