College Life · For the Ladies

On Marriage & Waiting ‘Til Then

Warning to all male readers: this post probably has too much estrogen to handle. Keep reading at your own risk, much sappiness lies ahead.

I am not above creeping on cute couples.
I am not above creeping on cute couples.

My heart just melted. My gal pal, Hunter, and I are studying at Collin Street Bakery. We have been here since 9:30 a.m., cranking out essays, cramming in knowledge, jumping on the inevitable pre-Spring Break assignments and midterms now, rather than later.

Just an hour ago, I met an authentically in love, real-life Noah & Allie {men, this is a reference to the dysfunctional yet questionably idolized couple from The Notebook}.

Outside of the bathrooms was an elderly man, we’ll call him Mister, and his elderly wife, we’ll call her Miss. Mister was patiently holding Miss’s wheelchair while she slowly shifted to her walker so she could go to the restroom. Mister just stood there, waiting without rolling eyes or grumbling, steadying her chair so she could make a smooth transition.

I offered to hold the door open for Miss as she slowly ambled toward the loo. It took her a long, long time. She apologized for being so slow. I told her she was fine. I didn’t mind, and neither did her Mister. I left, but since I am not above creeping on cute couples, watched Mister wait outside the bathroom for his Miss, her wheelchair idly at his side. He waited and waited. He wasn’t smiling or frowning, just nonchalantly, unknowingly being the most caring, most patient man I have ever seen.

Mister and Miss reminded me what marriage should look like. According to The Princess Bride, marriage is “that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream.” These are cliches that could very well be true, but marriage is a feeling, more than a love for one another.

Marriage is about sacrifice. It is about denying one’s self and placing another’s needs and desires before your own. It is about patience, forgiveness, joyfulness, grace, and hope despite financial, physical, emotional, psychological, even geographical trials that come your way. It is about God’s love for you, God’s love for your spouse, and God’s love shining through your relationship with each other.

Miss apologized for being slow, most likely because she knew I was not used to waiting the way her Mister was. I am sure Miss did not wish for these physical challenges, but she was confident that Mister would love her through her walking disabilities.

At 70+ years, Mister and Miss have probably been together now for a majority of both their lives. Mister loved Miss before and after her disability. And I am sure they have experienced many, many others challenges in the duration of their marriage. Mister was patient. Mister was kind. Mister was not easily angered. Mister had self-control, Mister denied himself and any urges he had to speed things up. Mister assumed a servant’s position, pushing Miss around in her wheelchair, ordering for her at the counter, offering his hand when she stood.

I don’t want a love like Noah and Allie. Noah and Allie mistreated each other. Noah and Allie pressured one another. Noah and Allie abandoned one another.

I want a love like Mister and Miss. A love that is understanding and patient. A love that is caring and compassionate. A love that shows the world you are willing to wait on your spouse hand and foot until your very last days together.

In the college setting, dating for fun transforms into dating for marriage. But I am still a child. I can’t even legally drink yet. I might be waiting a while for a Mister & Miss kind of love. But I know that is the kind of love worth waiting for. And in the present and in the now, I am doing just fine as a college single. And I am learning what it looks like to glorify God with singleness by utilizing the time spent alone with Him and the time spent with my friends.

Waiting doesn’t have to involve bitterness or a lack in self-esteem or an insecurity in looks, personality, whatever it may be. But waiting is a blessing, because it is refines our faith through patience and self-control, through hope and joy, through seeing couples that are doing the right thing and re-evaluating what we should be waiting for, and what is worth the wait.

And a love like Mister & Miss, that kind of love, that’s the stuff worth waiting for.

Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7

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