For the Ladies

What a Girl Doesn’t Want

A couple of weeks ago, I talked about being single in the college environment. Sometimes it isn’t easy, I become frustrated because all of the good ones are either a) taken b) skilled at hiding — we’re talking Where’s Waldo expert level.

While I know this is not true, there are plenty of eligible, solid bachelors out there, sometimes it seems all hope is lost. Sometimes, it seems there are only Jimmies left in this world.

And a girl does not want a Jimmy, let me tell you that.

Jimmy was a man, whom I had never met/heard of, that Facebook messaged me:

“Yo how you doin love? You def look like a dope chick and I wouldn’t mind seeing what’s up with you. Get at me.”

Men, please don’t be a Jimmy. Jimmy was a:

1) Creeper

We don’t want a random guy we’ve never talked to before, we especially don’t want one that found us via social media. We don’t want one we feel the need to protect ourselves from, but one who can protect us. We don’t want a stranger, we want a friend.

2) Weenie

Even if I had known Jimmy, he was still a chicken. He resorted to Facebook messaging, probably the least romantic & most effortless form of communication, to express his feelings. He hid behind a computer screen, his fingers typed three measly, poorly written sentences. We don’t want to be asked out via text, Snapchat, Facebook, etc. We want to be asked out in person, knowing the guts it takes to put yourself out there, hearing the words from your lips, seeing the smile on your face.

3) Taker

Even if I had known Jimmy, he was still a taker. As mentioned in #2, his statement of interest — or whatever it was — was effortless. He wanted me to “get at” him {I still don’t fully understand what that means}. We don’t want a guy who makes us do the work, we want a guy who will make the move. We are women that deserve to be treasured, we want a guy that will understand our worth and pursue us.

4) Mystery

Even if I had known Jimmy, his message was puzzling and strange. He called me a “dope chick,” and wanted me to “get at” him. Like what? We don’t want to be called weird terms of endearment, we simply want old fashioned, sincere compliments. We don’t want mixed signals, we want clarity. We don’t want to be mislead, we want to know your intentions.

It’s safe to say I did not reply to Jimmy. If I did, my sassy, sarcastic self might have said something along these lines:

Dear Jimmy, I don’t know what a “dope chick” looks like, but I’m pretty sure I am not one. Whatever getting at you entails, I unfortunately do not plan on partaking in such adventures. Take care, and make good choices. –Maelyn

I do not know Jimmy. He could be a very nice man. Jimmy, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I used you as an example of what girls don’t want. But I also meant what I said. We want a friend to seek after us, to pursue us face-to-face, to make known their future plans with us.

Fellows, if you identify yourself with Jimmy, please try to put forth an effort, try to be bold. While not all of us ladies have the same type, all of us simply want a man in the end. Men should protect, pursue, declare, and clarify. And that’s what a girl wants.

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